#15: Life Lately

Day 15: Life Lately.

As you may well have seen last week I only posted once. I knew that Blogtember was going to be hard for me to stick to, but I also thought that I would maybe have given it a better go. I am actually quite disappointed in myself but there are a few reasons and excuses that you probably don't want/need to hear. 

Life lately has been confusing and emotional. So many things happened last week that I had to question and you know what, life was actually going quite well until Wednesday. Then drunken mistakes were made and people got hurt. I literally cried for 24 hours and apologised from the deepest crevices of my heart on Thursday, then got a train home on friday. In some ways I feel as if I have run away from the problems I have left at university but I also think that the person who was hurt by what was said understands the situation a little better now and knows that I am not the sort of person who would be so malicious. I am sorry. I don't expect to be forgiven, but it was just a drunken mistake, I would never EVER say those things to you and I hope that we can be friends again soon. I am sorry.

I am extremely livid at one person in particular who will NOT for the life of themselves apologise for what they had a major part in (if not a whole part) and justifies not doing so by saying "I don't talk to the kid". GREAT. So now I am basically on my knees crying over something that is extremely out of character for me and they are showing no sympathy or taking responsibility for the part that they played. I think I can forget about this, but forgiving may take a VERY long time. 

On the brighter side now that I am home I can hug my family and friends and try to forget about what has happened and put it to rest. Hugs from my little brother were all I really needed. Reassurance from my parents that they know that I am not the kind of person who would intentionally hurt someone really means the world. Acting like an absolute fool with my best friend has made me so happy after what has become one of the worst few days that I have ever had. I think I am ready to go back to university to face what I have left, I am ready to apologise ten thousand more times and I am ready to start work and stay out of the way of more trouble.